John Edwards: 'I am a straight American'

Over the years, along with the rest of the country, I've marveled over the tendency of celebrities to fuck around. When their miserable attempts at having a secret sex life were revealed, I wrote about Bill Clinton, Ted Haggard, and others. Now John Edwards joins them.

This Marueen Dowd column, though rather drawn out, pretty much sums it up:

For some reason, super-strivers have a need to sell what is secretly weakest about themselves, as if they yearn for unmasking. Edwards's decency and concern for the weak in society -- except for his own wife. Bill Clinton's intellect and love of community -- except for his stupidity and destructiveness about Monica. Bush the Younger's jocular, I'm-in-charge self-confidence -- except for turning over his presidency, as no president ever has, to his Veep. Eliot Spitzer's crusade for truth, justice and the American way -- except at home.

This urge, as DowD identifies it, has long been satisfied by famous, powerful men by seeing prostitutes, especially dominatrices. But as Spitzer and the FBI demonstrated, you can't even fuck a prostitute in private these days without getting accidentally caught up in some racketeering investigation.

Clearly the only solution is that pursued by Rudolph Giuliani: Fuck someone else and act like you don't care who knows it.

technorati: John Edwards, adultery

Pilates godfather: Yur doin it wrong

Ron Fletcher, the man who is responsible for passing on the Pilates bodywork technique, says it shouldn't be thought of as an exercise regimen but as "an art, a science." Millions of grim-faced twenty- and thirty-somethings disagree.

No one ever points out that the regimen, or whatever it is, is named after the Roman administrator who famously washed his hands of guilt for the crucifixion of Jesus, and how fitting it is that such a strenuous exercise should be named for a torturer. Coming soon: the Torquemada.

It's Bad Behavior Friday™! -- Special Alexis edition

Judging by her submission of an instance of Bad Behavior in this completely off-topic comment, my pal Alexis either has forgotten my email address, or just misses the Bad Behavior feature of this blog, which has languished since I got my new job three weeks ago.

Okay, kid, this one's for you: a 20-year-old off-duty Northwest Airlines employee was arrested this week for sexually assaulting a sleeping passenger. And in other airlines news, two Delta employees were found to have used their employee status to smuggle guns and drugs on flights. Finally, a customer revolt has caused Air New Zealand to reconsider not giving out "biscuits" (which I think refers to what we call a cookie) on flights.

Of course, this week we had the flap over Ann Coulter's f-bomb. A SF Chronicle reporter compiled the condemnations, which included denunciations from Republican presidential candidates on the right and the not-quite-so-far right, and concludes that the reaction might represent a tipping point in favor of less tolerance for such language. Of course reporter Wyatt Buchanan is totally gay himself.

In Chicago, of all places, a columnist attempts to answer the question: Should you eat food that's been dropped on the floor? I know that is going to get a lot of hits, for even 80 years ago, T.S. Eliot was wondering, "Do I dare to eat a peach?" and many people have wondered about that line in "The Love Song of J.Alfred Prufrock." The best explanation is, of course, that the narrator had dropped his peach on the floor.

Finally, best of all: the Westchester Co., New York dominatrix who was recently busted pleaded not guilty to prostitution charges, declaring:

I am fighting for the women of America.

technorati: Ann Coulter, dominatrix, Delta Airlines