Crappy website of the week

Cris on the warpath for the Rockport website:

Dudes, This is a terrible website. I hated wasting my time watching silly little animations before I could get into your website. And then when I tried to "shop now," you actually had a moving target! Can anything be stupider? I wanted to click on "women" and the target kept moving around. Who thought of this? If she or he has come down now (or you could douse their head in cold water to help the process), please explain to this programmer that they need to quit thinking of themselves as a cinematic auteur (look it up) and just create a useful website. People are in a hurry, and artistically, this kind of animation climaxed with the dancing baby. Get over it.

How I love her.

Pink bats are for cancer research

This BoingBoing posting draws attention to the seemingly strange pink bats in a confiscation display at the Louisville airport. (The Louisville Slugger baseball bat is still the leading brand of baseball bat in the U.S., and I guess they have a factory store in Louisville or something.)

I can explain the pink bats. They are an artifact of the annual Breast Cancer Awareness day held throughout Major League Baseball (and, I believe, by many minor league teams). Among the activities and special events, some players use pink bats as part of an effort to raise awareness about the disease. Just do a Flickr search for "pink bat."

How the mighty have fallen: Rick Santorum

In a new feature on this website, I thought I'd collect and archive some information on (mostly) Republican politicians who are now, or soon to be, out of office, out of favor, perhaps (like Foley) out of luck.

Today we feature Pennsylvania's Rick Santorum, who earlier this month lost his Senate race in a landslide (59%-41%) to slightly more moderate Democrat Robert Casey, Jr.

• Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, 8 Nov 2006: Santorum supporters shed tears over election defeat
• New York Times, 31 Oct 06: with a week to go before election, Santorum struggles
• New York Times, 10 July 06: Santorum seeks new image
• July, 2005: Top Santorum aide admits he's gay [permalink]
• May 22, 2005 New York Times Magazine feature: The Believer; and the NYT topic page on Santorum
• New York Times, 2 May 2003: Senator in Heated Exchange With Parents of Gay Children: Santorum "couldn't get out of there fast enough," tripping over a chair as he departed
• New York Times, 23 April 2003: Persistent Conflict for Gays and G.O.P.
• USA Today, 23 April 2003: In interview, Santorum equates homosexuality to "bigamy, polygamy, incest, adultery"
• New York Times, 24 Sep 2000: Santorum's 2000 opponent gains in poll, but Santorum won the election, 52-45.
• New York Times, 13 March 1995: New in Senate and Looking Beyond Status Quo
• Santorum won election to Senate in 1994 by 49-47 margin; analysis article from the Center for Politics & Public Affairs
• New York Times, 6 Nov 1994: Pennsylvania on The Last Weekend before Santorum's first election
• New York Times, 30 Oct 1994: Theresa Heinz, then a Republican, and before her marriage to John Kerry, attacks Santorum
• New York Times, 20 Oct. 1994: Struggle for the Senate -- Santorum regarded as more conservative than past Penn. Republican senators

Santorum, Republicans

Focus on the Fundies: no broad agenda, Chr. Coalition insists

For the second time in a year, the Christian Coalition has fired an incoming president before he took office. The erstwhile leader, a Rev. Joel Hunter of Florida, wanted to expand the lobbying group's agenda to include AIDS and global warming, but the board said no dice.

The action came after four state chapters broke away from the group in reaction to Hunter's positions.

In recent years -- and especially since the 2006 midterm elections -- some conservative Christian leaders have tried to moderate the their reputation for being only about abortion and gays, suggesting, for example, that Christian notions of "stewardship" justify caring for the environment. But not everyone welcomes the oppurtunity to enlarge the "tent" of religious fundamentalism, resulting in fractiousness.

The funny part about this is when center-right evangelicals use a term like "compassionate conservatism." As recounted by author David Kuo, the former staffer in the White House's Office of Faith-Based Initiatives, many conservative Christians supported Bush when he took this line -- but it turned out to be mere lip service. It's just a catchphrase invented by Karl Rove to snare religious right-wing voters; there is no commitment behind it. So to see well-meaning Christians still using the phrase, as if it actually means something, is pathetically sad.

Satire is dead, #9820828563401

From a commend thread on a great Txg-themed entry on my friend Jackadandy's blog, which discussed how wannabes shamelessly rip off the whole Native American thing:

I'm reminded of a story I heard I think about the Michigan Womyn's Festival (is that the proper name of it? the big trans-exclusive folk music thing?) -- they had tents for different groups of people, and one was for Native American women. After about an hour, they had to put a sign on the tent that read "Native American in THIS LIFE ONLY."

This is what I was talking about in my entry on Monday -- when a strange group is seen as harmless, everyone wants a piece of them.

Who's got the power?

Take a look at this picture on the front page of the New York Times today (click the picture to link to a larger version of the photo on the NYT site):

Here is the Mayor of New York, a multi-millionaire businessman, but who is everyone in the picture -- including the deputy mayor! -- looking at? Al Sharpton. He's the one with the power in that situation. Almost makes you feel sorry for Bloomberg, but hey, that's what you get when you're mayor of a city with cops that go nuts on a regular schedule.

Amateurs

Courtesy GalleyCat, here's an interesting piece by a first-time novelist on how he promoted his book -- what worked and what didn't. Good idea: create your own website with original content related to the book. Bad idea: try to organize reading groups. Or maybe not such a bad idea, but it didn't work for him. My theory, which I'm pulling out of my ass, is that reading groups generally work only for women-oriented fiction -- Oprah stuff. Because how many men are in reading groups, you know?

And speaking of book promotion, I clicked on a banner ad on GalleyCat and wound up at this page for a Random House book, Blind Submission, which suggests you read an excerpt from the book (which has to do with a literary agent) and answer a few questions; you could "win a consultation with a top New York literary agent!"

The interesting thing about the promotion is that it took me a second to realize it was a promotion for a book; initially I thought it was just a contest. But it's a promotional contest.

By the way, if you weren't in SF on Sunday, or were coming back from Txg someplace, you might have missed the big feature on Savannah Knoop, the young artist/designer-turned-JT LeRoy doppelganger. She impersonated the non-existent author for two years. It isn't a very interesting article, and frankly she doesn't seem like a very interesting person. She echoes the "We never meant to hurt anybody" line from the LeRoy writer, Laura Albert, and that really seems to be the beginning and end of her take on the matter.

A more substantial, talented or just mature person might have taken the experience and made tremendous art from it; she's making non-descript clothing the reporter went out of her way to call "cute, well-made, somewhat androgynous clothes that play with proportion and comfort versus structure." I think that's another way of saying they're boxy and poorly cut.

Texas Germans lasted longer

I love this story from today's Houston Chronicle, UT professor works to save Texas German. Actually the prof, Hans Boas, is not working to "save" the central Texas dialect -- which is still spoken by a now rapidly diminishing population of fourth-generation descendents of immigrants -- but to preserve some vestige of it for scholars.

When I lived in Texas in the 1970s I was perhaps a little more aware of the German-flavored towns of the Hill Country -- Fredericksberg chief among them -- since I was a Lutheran. Even then Fredericksburg bragged about its Germanic heritage with cutesy architecture, lots of German restaurants and bakeries, an Oktoberfest, etc.

But the great thing about this story, by Lisa Falkenberg, is the way it hints at how immigrant cultures are assimilated to the point where they become non-threatening and cute. After recounting discrimination against germans during the two world wars, the story quotes one resident: "Everybody called us the Krauts and we were kind of isolated and weird and they didn't know what to make of us. Now we're quaint."

How judges chose Nat'l Book Award winners

Courtesy Publishers Marketplace, this LA Times article by novelist Marianne Wiggins, who was a judge this year for the National Book Awards for fiction, on how the judging works. She and the other fiction judges each read 258 books:

I constructed an elaborate system of piles: read, unread, couldn't get past Page 10, crap, bloated, vomitous, kill-me-now and praise God.

Non-fiction judges had it worse: they read 500 books. "One judge remarked that she came home one day to find her children had constructed a fort out of them."

By the way, the awards were awarded only two weeks ago -- seems longer than that, for some reason. Here are the winners (I had to be reminded, too).

Most interesting are the books which almost made the list of official nominees, as well as Wiggins' dismissive comments about some books. In the end it doesn't seem as if she quite cared which books made it on or off the list, she would simply like people to read more. Which is a fine thing to think, but I can't help thinking that the author of "The Law of Dreams," Peter Behrens -- which she described as an "early favorite" but which did not, in the end, even get a nomination -- cares very much whether his book was officially nominated. Well, I hope more people read it because of Wiggins' article. As for the books that were nominated due to internal politics among the judges, "Eat the Document" by Dana Spiotta and "A Disorder Peculiar to the Country" by Ken Kalfus, if I were one of those authors I would feel almost as bad as Behrens. According to Wiggins, they were nominated only to make the list seem less anti-feminist. Great, what a compliment for Spiotta.

Our happy home

Milagrito and Cris in the bedroom. The cats aren't allowed in the bedroom so he's mighty curious about what's in there.

We're spending a quiet day around the house, might go out for a walk later. Just Cris and me -- not the cat.

Jesus loves you, too

While searching for images of Bangalore as part of resarching my novel, I ran across this image, apparently an ad for a political party, if the caption is to be believed. So great.

Can't.... concentrate

Been sitting here all day trying to work on my novel. Very hard to concentrate for some reason.

Girlbomb has "bigger fish" to fry

Badger: Enduring a family thanksgiving visit.

Two words: radioactive sushi. And they say fish is good for you.

The ever-reliable C. Carr on Allen Ginsberg

Cornucopia of names

This day, I give thanks for the weird never-exhausted cornucopia of names received as the "senders" of spam e-mail -- names worthy of "Brave New World" and the work of Thomas Pynchon. Let us imagine the faces and stories behind these names. Say them out loud, roll them in your mouth. Let us welcome:

Mireio Mckibben -- gifted child of writer Bill
Erzsi Abeyta -- Kenyan cultural attache
Leticia Kirby -- rejected name for character of receptionist in "The Office"
Imogene Solar -- aspiring Mexican poet
Daren Darnell -- game show contestant
Mohammed Kopp -- bureaucrat at the Department of Public Works
Biff Kealoha -- restaurateur
Kelvin Hirsch -- science teacher
Imhotep Emond -- FedEx driver
Fauna Maestas -- your housekeeper who is also a Santeria priestess
Ceallach Wagar -- undocumented carpenter
Tommie Terry -- BBC entertainment "presenter"
Israel Bailey -- reggae impresario
Morgaine Schleifer -- that girl in Human Resources who wears those long hippie skirts and plays in a Celtic band on Thursday nights
Basil Spicer -- failed Birmingham football striker
Noah Pugh -- plumber
Tasha Woody -- sharp-tongued receptionist at a non-profit, wears an Afro
Basil Burt -- unexpectedly rich neighbor
Akilina Segovia -- your Russian mail-order bride's cousin who used to be a scientist in the Ukraine and is now a prostitute on Long Island
Gladys Looney -- retired accounting assistant, she still comes back for annual company Xmas party every year
Terrell Hare -- former British sharpshooter, now a "security consultant"
Eustace Sanders -- Chair of English Dept. at a community college
Sterling Cooley -- cheats at golf
Fran Luna -- that girl you slept with a few times in 1989; she was really loud
Bienvenida Brenes -- works at the bakery, wants to own her own business
Haywood Pilkington -- Sterling Cooley's long-suffering golf partner; knows Sterling cheats, would never mention it
Raymundo Meadows -- bass player in a Christian rock band
Shuck I. Clingman -- inventor of obscure piece of broadband networking hardware, was cheated out of patent rights and is suing
Amparo Latham -- MFA in Create Writing, NYU, 2004
Ottilia R. Bunch -- order-taker at office supplies company
Conor Swicegood -- failed thriller writer

But his secret identity is Lex Luthor

Here's the scary mug shot of the day: a Minnesota "drug kingpin" whose high forehead and sociopathic leer suggest he's only one chemical accident away from resembling either Superman's nemesis or Doctor Evil:

Actually that's from the St. Paul Pioneer Press.

Just one more place to avoid

You know your country needs to work on its image when the stock graphic on the BBC News page features your capital city exploding. In the other picture from Lebanon on the BBC News front page site, hands are carrying a coffin, no doubt that of the recently assassinated cabinet official.

By contrast, here is the stock graphic for a Canadian story:

Just in case no one knows where Canada is.

Conservatives to attempt satire

Perhaps emboldened by Dick Cheney's reputation as a cut-up (on Kerry's "botched joke": "He was for that joke before he was against it"), workers at Fox are going to try a conservative version of 'The Daily Show' (courtesy Metafilter), because "The other side hasn't been skewered in a fair and balanced way."

Gee, maybe it will be as funny as Mallard Fillmore.

What part of "gift" don't you understand?

Members of a Memphis church are pissed off about a couple of Hurricane Katrina evacuees to whom they donated a 3BR, 2BA house, free and clear: the couple decided they didn't like the neighborhood, sold the house and moved back to New Orleans with the money.

My favorite quote:

"Do I have any legal problems? What do you mean? The house was given to me," she said. "I have the paperwork and everything."

This must be a new meme. Salon.com's advice columnist just fielded a question from someone who wanted to "control" how his cash gifts to nephews were used.

RIP: Robert Altman

Strange old-lady sect wars against 'Martian reptiles'

Tired of hearing about Scientology after all the TomKat wedding blahblah? Try this group on for size: a quasi-religious old-lady commune in Orange County at war with local government regulators. When they were busted, they hurled obscenities at sherrif's deputies because they were "the only thing they can hear."

Are fundies losing faith in GOP, or vice versa?

Perhaps the last word on l'affaire Haggard -- or at least its political implications or lack of them -- is contained in a long, very interesting Colo. Springs Gazette analysis piece, in which the writer admits the scandal had little effect on local races but suggests fundies' political influence is waning:

The bad news for evangelicals who remain loyal Republicans is that their influence may wane in a party that is looking to swerve to America’s middle so that it can better compete with Democrats. The drubbing taken by Sen. Rick Santorum, the Republican evangelical Christian from Pennsylvania, underscored what looks like a big swing of the political pendulum. The looming question comes down to this: Did Republicans lose their religion or did they scare off moderates with religious zealotry?

"I think the big story of 2006 is the support for Democrats by religious moderates," said David Domke, a professor at the University of Washington who has written several books on the relationship between evangelicals and the Republican Party. "The GOP is not the only game in town for Christian voters," Domke said. "The Democrats have made tremendous inroads."

But did fundies ever really have that much influence in the GOP -- or did Karl Rove just make them think they did? Don't forget the analysis of David Kuo, whose disillusioned take on the relationship between Christians and the Bush White House, "Tempting Faith, accused Rove et al. of manipulating evangelicals for their votes.

Finally, this article from the center-right Christian Century outlines the "rehabilitation" Haggard is embarking upon.

Ted Haggard, David Kuo, Karl Rove, fundamentalists, Republicans

Dying is easy; comedy is hard

An Iraqi comedian "who was famous for mocking everyone from the Iraqi government to U.S. forces to Shiite militias to Sunni insurgents" was shot and killed today in Baghdad.

Meanwhile, a bevy of Presidential candidates are "lining up" to appear on the Daily Show, according to a story in the British newspaper the Telegraph. That's understandable -- Colbert would make them look even worse.

Furtherly meanwhile, it is reported that viewer numbers at Fox News are declining (courtesy TVNewser) as ratings for MSNBC's Keith Olbermann's "Countdown" skyrocketed after the host "got pissed off" this year.

Headline of the week

Headline of the week honors go to Salon.com:

Memo to O.J.: Kill Yourself

Fortunately, they got that in just under the wire, as it was announced this afternoon that media tycoon Rupert Murdoch, who rulez the congomerate that was going to publish the ghost-written (and ghost-ridden!) not-a-confession pulled the plug on the book, calling it "ill-considered." Meanwhile, Fox -- also owned by Murdoch -- was trying to figure out what to do with the long interview with publisher Judith Regan that was scheduled to run this week (a sort of Thanksgiving special, I guess).

It all goes to show: even at Fox, where the vast right-wing conspiracy lives, the left hand sometimes doesn't know what the right hand is doing. Maybe that's why they lost the election.

On Regan, whose name only publishing insiders knew until last week, Galleycat earlier today published this collection of links.

Rupert Murdoch, O.J. Simpson, Judith Regan, Salon

Librarian's holiday

Two perspectives on National Novel Writing Month, of which we have just passed the halfway point: blogger Eric Rosenfield hates it. And from the Wenatchee World -- a newspaper from the apple-growing country in the middle of Washington state, a large town with an Amtrak station but no freeway -- I've been through it a few times -- comes this wonderful piece, Writer's goal — 50,000 words in one month, with echoes of The Onion befitting its small-town provenance.

"You can't write a novel in a month. Nobody can. Well, maybe a few people can. But I can't," said Anderman, who is making the attempt for the fourth consecutive year. ... There's no time to polish and improve when you're trying to pound out nearly 2,000 words in a night in few available free hours. "It gave me a lot of respect for writers. Every one of the books on these shelves is probably five times bigger than it looks," he said, gesturing to thousands of books in the library where he paused from work for an interview Tuesday afternoon. He referred to the many rewrites it takes to make a good book.

Yes, the guy is a librarian.

The book I'm working on now started as a NaNo two years ago. I managed about 20,000 words that November of 2004. I liked what I'd done too much to hurry through it or give it up, and now I've done about three drafts of the first half of the book and I'm still working on finishing the first draft of the second half. I'm up to about 68,000 words, but they're a good tight 68,000 words.

More about this nascent work to come.

NaNoWriMo, Mational Novel Writing Month, Wenatchee

How she lost that story

Patricia Calhoun, editor of the Denver alt.weekly Westword, writes how her paper was approached by Mike Jones -- the male escort whose allegations led to the outing of Colorado Springs preacher Ted Haggard -- but was reluctant to run the story on the slim evidence Jones provided.

What ultimately happened is that another organization, a Colorado Springs television station that had already interviewed Jones and likewise sat on the story, heard Jones interviewed on a Denver radio station making allegations about an unnamed clergyman. Recognizing Jones from their contact with him, the station went straight to Haggard and interviewed him -- this was when he issed his first denials, claiming, for example, not to know any Mike Jones. (My favorite quote from that interview is still Haggard asking "What'd you say his name was?" I'll bet he can remember it now.)

If I were Calhoun I would have done the same thing -- sat on the story in the absence of incontrovertible evidence. The TV station showed cleverness in going to Haggard directly with the allegations they had from their own previous conversation with the escort. Why Haggard granted them the interview, before his name was even linked to Jones, will never be known.

By the way, some gay bloggers are collecting donations for Jones, which seems a little irrelevant to me. Why not just help him get a book deal?

It's Bad Behavior Friday™! -- hypenated edition

Shelley Sekula-Gibbs, the unfortunately hyphenated American whose name voters in Tom DeLay's district were supposed to write in, lost the general election to Nick Lampson but, at the same time, won a "special election" to fill out the rest of DeLay's term. In the five days of this week, she managed to piss off DeLay's old staff so badly they all quit, leading the temporary congresswoman to demand an investigation!

Best: She has "ambitious goals for her seven week tenure... that include reforming immigration and cutting taxes." Good luck with that!

More bad behavior as the day goes on. I'm busy.

Who's watching your searches?

Several months ago when Google announced its personalized search "feature," I was among those who quickly turned the "feature" off, because I realized that it meant Google was saving every single search I did, not anonymously, but under my own userid.

Not that I'm searching for anything wrong. But you don't want just anybody to know that you're looking for, say, 70% dark chocolate.

The other day I happened to remember this "feature" and I went back into My Account to make sure the thing was turned off. Sure enough, it was back on. There were archived searches there going back months. Motherfuckers!

Here's how to turn it off, or as they call it, "pause" this feature.

1. In the Google Mail inbox, while you're logged in, click on "All my services" at the top.
2. Click on "Personalized Search," which is the name of this "feature."
3. Now it will show your search history. If it shows anything besides "This feature has been paused," then it is saving all your searches.
4. On the left menu, click "Pause"
5. To clear the cache of saved searches, click "Remove Items
6. Click "Clear entire search history"
7. Click the Clear History button

Now you should be OK. (Who knows what they're really saving, though?)

From now on, I'm going to make sure I check this every week, manually.

21st century culture dump

The "official mashup" of the Beatles' catalog, originally done for the Cirque du Soleil's show "Love," goes on sale next Tuesday. Perhaps the most poignant piece of the story is that the work was ostensibly done by Sir George Martin and his son Giles, but that Dad is now "hard of hearing and his primary job was to interpret his knowledge of the Beatles, saying whether or not Lennon would have liked something, for instance."

The National Book Awards were announced, with Richard Powers winning the fiction prize for "The Echo Maker," Timothy Egan for nonfiction, and Nathaniel Mackey for poetry for "Splay Anthem." I noted that the latter is a New Directions book -- good to see them still bringing out winners. Haven't hard so much from New Directions lately, it seems.

Finally, notice Violet Blue's weekly column on SFGate, unpacking (you should pardon the expression) the Republicans' last-ditch attempt to scare the nation before the election -- the phrase "San Francisco values." She writes:

We have sex shops aplenty from the Marina to the Mission, leather shops, fetish wear shops and free condom bowls at card stores in the Castro (alongside bowls of free biscuits for your pug). There are all-gender, all-orientation sex clubs (one is three levels), sex-positive hotels and B&Bs, and we have places where porn and hookups are made, from SOMA's Porn Palace to the Mission District's Kinky Salon. We have the ginormous, family-friendly and not really sexual (but highly sexualized by homophobes) San Francisco Gay Pride Parade and the overtly sexual (but every year, more like Six Flags does leather) BDSM-positive Folsom Street Fair, bringing in hundreds of thousands of sex-happy tourists to bask in our values, from all over the nation and the world.

Note the sentence I italicized. Everything else you can look up in the Yellow Pages, but where do you find out about these sex clubs, you may want to know? I no longer am quite sure, but calling San Francisco Sex Information at (415) 989-SFSI would be a good bet. Also, Violet usually puts in her blog whatever links and info the Chronicle wouldn't let her publish on their site.

Fucked-up incident in NYC -- kidnapping? arrest?

Liz Henry, in NYC on business, posts about a completely terrifying and confusing incident on the street in which a gang of thugs burst out of unmarked cars, tackled someone, and dragged him away without ever identifying themselves, even when Liz demanded it. They threatened to arrest her when she asked questions.

Who knows who the fuck they were? In Dick Cheney's America, is it paranoia to wonder?

Worst use of police resources of the week

Police busted a strip show at a private men's club in Wisconsin, saying the group needed an adult entertainment permit to present strippers. The group, a chapter of the International Order of Old Bastards -- it says they have a million members in 4600 chapters! -- has members with an average age of their mid-60s. But the best bit of all:

Sue Richmond, 54, told the State Journal she supplies the strippers for the Old Bastards through her DeForest business, exotic-dancers.com. She said she began dancing for the Old Bastards in 1972. She described members as well-behaved, adding that dancers earn $150 each plus tips for dancing from 9 to 11 p.m.

That's in Monona, Wisc. -- a suburb, as it were, of Madison. So sad.

Stream of Haggard news slows to a trickle

Now that everyone has fully reported, analyzed and digested the Ted Haggard affair, the amount of news about it is greatly diminished. There was something six days ago about how Focus on the Fundies Family chief James Dobson said he didn't have time to participate in Haggard's rehabilitation, evoking laughter from the peanut gallery. Now a FOTF lieutenant, H.B. London, has signed on. The only remotely thing interesting about this is:

London told The Associated Press last week that Haggard's restoration could take three to five years and would likely involve counseling, in groups and alone, and prayer. He said it could sometimes be confrontational, and that only about half the ministers who enter such programs succeed.

Emphasis mine. Wow, wouldn't you love to be a fly on the wall during the confrontations? "What the h - e - double - eck is this, Ted? An issue of GQ? Where's that Playboy we gave you?!"

Focus on the Family, Ted Haggard, James Dobson, H.B. London,fundies, restoration therapy

One more cup of coffee and I'll be all right!

Courtesy mediabistro comes this Slate.com piece about the rise and fall of the "bus plunge" story in the New York Times. Someone with too much time on his hands realized that one-paragraph stories about buses going off mountain roads in exotic countries used to be a staple in newspapers, and actually traced how many stories of this nature appeared in the Times over the decades.

The story reminds me of a satirical song performed by the a cappella group The Bobs, whom I used to open for in the mid-1980s. They had a song, suitably titled "Bus Plunge," the entire lyrics of which can be found on their expansive website. (The same site lists my own song, Be My Yoko*, which they performed in concerts and on their first album, and which was in turn the title song of a theater piece I did with Lynn Grasberg. Hi Lynn!)
* Not to be confused with the Barenaked Ladies song "Be My Yoko Ono."

The Bobs, bus plunge, Be My Yoko

Getting started

Why fundies have so many kids, on The Revealer.

Harpers has a cartoon of a newly-unemployed Donald Rumsfeld begging for alms. For better or worse, I doubt that will be his fate. He will certainly receive hundreds of millions from defense contractors and others, not to mention a big book contract for a book that will say exactly nothing new.

fundies, evangelicals, Rumsfeld

'Pastor Ted and his family love Jesus'

Just in time for Sunday morning, the Rocky Mountain News answers the question no one -- except the few hundred folks left at New Life Church -- is asking: what about the children?? That is, how to explain to the children the very messy and scadalous departure of pastor Ted Haggard?

1. Jesus loves Pastor Ted and his family very, very much. Pastor Ted and his family love Jesus very, very much.

2. All people sin and make mistakes. Pastor Ted said he made some mistakes. A group of pastors who love Pastor Ted are helping him to correct those mistakes.

Und so weiter. It doesn't say how to answer the question "But what's crystal meth?" and "What's a massage?"

Meanwhile, the Denver Post has a run-of-the-mill overview of the issues of how Christians view homosexuality, and whether homosexuals can talk themselves out of homosexuality. It does contain one interesting note, toward the bottom:

"I am concerned he will go through this restoration process and come out the other end a confirmed heterosexual and become a poster child for the illegitimate process of reparative therapy," said Michael Brewer, public policy director for the Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender Community Center of Colorado.

Good call. I can just see it now -- Haggard redeems his standing in the Christianist community by becoming an example of the "saved" homosexual. He lobbies constantly against civil rights for gay people, since if he can "change," then being gay isn't a permanent condition, and thus gay people don't deserve civil rights.

Not looking forward to that. I am looking forward, though, to his inevitable and eventual final crackup and fall.

Ted Haggard, New Life Church, hypocrites

Adventures in globalization: young Indians experiment

According to this Times of India article, college students in Gujarat are doing some same-sex experimentation.

Playing homosexual games, ragging along gay lines and even chance homosexual encounters by otherwise straight boys and girls have become commonplace in hostels as homosexuality is fast ceasing to be a dirty word. Ask boys in the Gujarat University hostel and they tell you how one of the most popular party games for guys is one where they compare and feel body parts.

Wonder what "ragging" means in that context. Anyway, it sounds more like slightly drunken play than anything else, but hey, party down, kids.

'Jesus Camp' to shut down

The summer camp for little right-wing Chrstians seen in the documentary "Jesus Camp" will close, the management said.

Associated with disgraced preacher Ted Haggard -- who appears in the film leering directly into the camera: "I think I know what you did last night!... Give me $1000 and I won't tell your wife!"... If you use any of this, I'll sue you. [video clip] -- the camp will close because of negative reaction to the film and to Haggard's fall. Link courtesy PostAnApology and Technorati.

Ironically, the same documentary that had liberal Christians and non-religious people cringing was viewed positively by some irony-challenged evangelicals. You can read this fascinating interview with the filmmakers on the website of Christianity Today, a conservative (though reasonably responsible and not completely foaming at the mouth) Christian magazine.

I am so sorry to see this week end.

Update no. 1: Seattle's The Stranger has a feature, Ted Haggard's Crystal Cathedral -- A Visit to the Gayest Place on Earth. That echoes Salon's Lauren Sandler who wrote a few days ago that "suddenly so much about his ministry feels, well, gay." And The Stranger's Dan Savage has an op-ed making the rounds entitled The Code of the Callboy, referring to the decisions made by escorts about the very rare times they out their clients.

Ted Haggard, Jesus Camp, documentaries, Christianity Today, evangelicals

But they didn't ask about "fork"

Courtesy Anna, whom the quiz got right. It snagged me too. Southern Illinois, yep!
 

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.

What American accent do you have?

My mother famously pronounces "fork" and "corn" and "fark" and "carn." They didn't ask about that -- if they had, I have the feeling my accent probably would have been placed accurately in southern Missouri. Her parents lived in St. Louis all their lives, and I was born there; they still have relatives in rural Missouri 80 miles to the southwest.

accents, midland, St. Louis, sourthern Illinois, Missouri

Sheldon: Christian rightist leaders knew of Haggard's sexuality

Uber-toxic old crypto-fascist Lou Sheldon, one of the biggest foamers of the anti-gay religious right, is said to have admitted that he and "a lot" of other evangelical leaders knew of Ted Haggard's homosexual predilictions:

Sheldon disclosed that he and "a lot" of others knew about Haggard's homosexuality "for awhile ... but we weren't sure just how to deal with it."

Months before a male prostitute publicly revealed Haggard's secret relationship with him, and the reverend’s drug use as well, "Ted and I had a discussion," explained Sheldon, who said Haggard gave him a telltale signal then: "He said homosexuality is genetic. I said, no it isn't. But I just knew he was covering up. They need to say that."

God, just in those quotes there is so much evil and forked-tongued speech. They "weren't sure just how to deal with it"?? Oh, I'm sure any Christianist demagogue would be able to tell a garden-variety fag just how to deal with his homosexuality -- but this wasn't just any gay man, this was one of their own. So rather than treat him the way they would treat someone without power and influence, they froze and shilly-shallied. I'm sure they would have liked this situation to go on forever -- just as the Catholic Church wished all those pedophile priests would eventually just die and the problem would go away -- all because of their totally unrealistic and wishful view of what sex is.

Then there's the smug, superior note: "They need to say that."

A man whose mind stopped functioning long ago, for the most part, except the parts that animate the knee-jerk response.

Also classic is this statement: Speaking of the election results, in which Rick Santorum and several other darlings of the Christian Right were drubbed:

"We know that in America the people are with us," insisted the founder and chairman of the Traditional Values Coalition, one of the largest groups in the Christian right. "They're just confused."

Right, Lou. It's just a PR problem. The American people are confused about what you represent. Sure.

Link to the story courtesy Andrew Sullivan, The Zero Boss.

Lou Sheldon, Ted Haggard, religious right, Traditional Values Coalition, homosexuality, homophobia

In UK, 'poppy' buttons are their yellow ribbons

A British TV anchor (or "presenter," as they call it) refuses to join most other TV newspeople in wearing a symbolic poppy on his lapel in honor of The Troops. In this commentary, he explains why. Good man!

Last night's reading

Forgive the crossposting, but you can read about my appearance at a literary reading last night at sf.metblog. But extra thanks to Stephen Elliott for inviting me to take part in the celebration for his new book, and to our publisher Cleis Press for their support.

It's Bad Behavior Friday™! -- eating crow edition

Andrew Fastow, one of the Enron felons, won't be serving his six-year sentence in the prison of his choice near Houston. Instead, he's going to Louisiana.

And remember that case where a reality TV crew was sued for staging a confrontation between a woman and her estranged husband, on whom she had previously gotten a restraining order? A judge threw out some of the criminal charges but the trial on other charges is going forward.

Police in New Mexico who were served pot-laced Whoppers are suing Burger King.

On the Ted Haggard beat, the AP says mega-churches are taking a hard look at "superstar pastors" like the disgraced drug-addicted cocksucking hypocrite.

Modern-day celebrity pastors have Web sites, where they promote their books, along with the DVDs, TV shows and films they produce, while preaching internationally. With such high profiles, word of any wrongdoing will spread quickly, intensifying the damage to them and their congregations.

Haggard felt the impact firsthand last week.

So that's what they're calling it now -- "the impact." I can think of a few others who "felt the impact" this week, and they all have an (R) after their names.

Ted Haggard, Albuquerque, Burger King, megachurches, Enron, Fastow

Democrats take Senate, complete sweep

See, that didn't take so long after all.

'Gates' advent is another example of Bush I bailing out W'

Speaking yesterday on his show Hardball, Chris Matthews came up with a beauty of a spin on the naming of Robert Gates, an old crony of Bush I, to head the Pentagon. Speaking of Bush II, he said:

Here's a guy who tried to make it on his own, as a young kid out of college, after going to Harvard business school and Yale College. And he was trying to make it as a wildcatter, and he didn't make it. A lot of dusters, no money. Then he was taken in by the establishment in Texas. They gave him a baseball team and then they let him sell it and make 17 million dollars, or whatever.

Here [in Iraq] again he was out there as a wildcatter, politically, as President of the United States, trying to do it his way. {But] the Iraq war, it is a duster. There is no oil coming out of that war. Along comes the establishment, Bob Gates from Texas A&M, the old man's buddy. Jim Baker comes along, the old man's partner, to bail out the kid because he went out there on his own as a wildcatter and it ain't working. Tell me if I'm wrong.

Good one, huh? (A "duster," of course, is a dry hole in the ground where you expected to strike oil but never did.)

Bush, Robert Gates, Chris Matthews, Hardball, MSNBC

Mopping up Colorado

The preliminary story published in the Colo. Springs Gazette about Ted Haggard accuser Mike Jones appearing on a local call-in radio show was extensively revised and expanded by the paper today, fully describing the "circus" atmosphere as the former male escort fielded calls from friends and foes:

"It's about time somebody put him in his place," said one caller, referring to Haggard, during the morning show, hosted by Coba Hoban and Darren McKee.

"Our entire church loves him (Haggard) very much," another caller said.

Several New Life congregants invited Jones to church. Someone wondered why Jones took the story to the media without confronting Haggard privately first.

Readers may wonder at that last bit. The caller was probably referring to the Christian mandate -- as held by both Jesus and St. Paul -- to talk directly with the person who is causing you a problem.

Among the other tidbits:

• Haggard wasn't nervous the first time Jones saw him, and in Jones' opinion "it wasn't the fist first time he had been with a man."
• Haggard was a decent tipper, giving Jones $50 to $100 extra on a $200 call.
• When Jones decided to get out of the business, Haggard begged him to continue seeing him, pleading "Please, please, Mike, can I still call you?"

Ted Haggard, Mike Jones, escorts, sex workers, tips

In Texas, the bar is set pretty low

Shelley Sekula-Gibbs, the write-in candidate [for Tom DeLay's House seat), who received almost 61,000 votes in final, unofficial totals, thanked voters for learning how to spell her name.

Another Houston Chronicle story reports the work of local election officials who had to tabulate all those write-in ballots.

Best. Day. Ever.

Rumsfeld, CNN, election, webdesign

BREAKING: Rumsfeld to resign

The first fruits of the Democratic landslide of 2006: Rumsfeld is resigning.

No gay affair or drug allegations involved.

Rumsfeld, Democrats

Conservatives still win in Colorado

A Democrat won the Colorado governor's seat, but the Republican congressman from Colorado Springs survived, and only one congressional seat (in the 7th district in Denver suburbs) changed to the Democrats. Worse, voters approved a ban on gay marriage and defeated a more moderate domestic partership bill. So it doesn't look like the Ted Haggard implosion affected the vote at all -- or at least not enough to matter.

Gay marriage bans won in six other states, but in a significant note, failed in Arizona 51-49.

In news of Ted Haggard's attempted rehabilitation, right-wing demagogue James Dobson quit Haggard's rehabilitation team, saying he didn't have enough time to devote to the effort to turn the meth-snorting, cocksucking hypocrite into a fine upstanding right-wing Christian again. Okay, he didn't quite put it that way. Update no 1: The Colo. Springs Gazette has a letter sent on Monday to Haggard's former church by Ross Parsley, the assistant who took over the church. Update no. 2, courtesy Christianity Today: The Nat'l Assoc. of Evangelicals, the 45,000 church-strong organization that Haggard had headed, is distancing itself from the disgraced preacher: "Most people -- I'm not sure everyone -- separate this tragedy from NAE; they consider it a tragedy of a man, a pastor and not an NAE scandal."

Update no. 3: Salon's Lauren Sandler continues to cover the Colorado Springs story on the ground, filing a report from the Republican election-night party there. Sandler strongly suggests the local Republican House candidate, Doug Lamborn, was due to be upset, but results this morning showed he won by plenty. Still, nice color:

As the band wound up its final set, he talked to reporters about setting his sights on the House Armed Services Committee and made snarky comments about Nancy Pelosi. He commented that the evangelical vote refused to be "sidelined." And then, as Mr. Biggs' cleanup staff circulated with garbage bags, asking the last straggling volunteers to gather up their campaign signs, Lamborn took the stage to summon local candidates, winners all. They were given just a moment for lightning-fast speeches -- a chance to parade the wives, thank the volunteers, and remind the tiny remaining crowd about "Republican principles" and "Republican revival," all standard Christian political rhetoric. That rhetoric tonight would be the language of defeat in Missouri Sen. Jim Talent's campaign: His concession speech opened by giving long-winded thanks to God, but no one here even bothered to do that in their victory speeches. These local wins meant little when the Senate was still hanging in the balance.

Lamborn himself didn't bother to invoke his faith as he wrapped up what could hardly be called a party. Blinded by the success of the "enemy," he couldn't even talk about winning his seat; in fact his quick speech sounded more like an angry concession. "We'll be able to harness a backlash," he said.

Update no. 4: Haggard accuser Mike Jones "got an earful" when he appeared on a Colorado Springs call-in radio show Wednesday morning.

Ted Haggard, James Dobson, gay marriage, domestic partners, colorado

Conservatives whispering about Stevens illness

I found this on a conservative blog: right-wingers are rubbing their hands in anticipation of another Supreme Court vacancy, as Justice John Paul Stevens, 86, is reported to be ill.

Evangelical spin begins

Writing on Beliefnet, a New Life Church clergyman posits what looks like the religious right's first angle on the Haggard debacle: the investigation into his behavior is "over," and what needs to happen now is forgiveness and healing.

That is a lie. As Larry Stockstill, the head of the "overseers" panel appointed by the church to look into the allegations against the senior pastor, said in a Sunday press conference, the investigation continues:

...Leaders at the former pastor's church believe he is still being deceptive about the extent of his sexual activity, the Rev. Larry Stockstill said Sunday.

Stockstill, Haggard's mentor and head of the church's investigation into allegations by former male escort Mike Jones about Haggard's sexual and drug activity, said officials will require Haggard to take polygraphs and undergo psychological evaluations before considering his return to church life.

Haggard's computer hard drive also will be examined for evidence of longer-term illicit sexual activity, Stockstill said during a news conference at New Life Church.
The church's board of overseers is also undertaking a thorough review of Haggard's financial situation, although no allegations of improprieties have been made and no evidence has surfaced of any financial wrongdoing.

Maybe lying is contagious.

Update no. 1: Satire: "Evangelicals regret being such dicks about Clinton"

Update no. 2: They may have taken the Daily Show clips off YouTube, but you can still read the transcript of Jon Stewart's bit on Haggard on a blog called The Third Path.

Update no. 3: Analysis pieces:

• Salon's Lauren Sandler
• A long piece by an evangelical on Christianity Today

Ted Haggard, Larry Stockstill, Patton Dodd, New Life Church, religious right, Jon Stewart,

Pet Noir and Shannon O'Leary

Check out the fabulous interview with Shannon O'Leary about her just-released expanded edition of Pet Noir, a graphic anthology of true crime, pet style. I took her photo!

Let us tell you, nothing makes a six-hour plane ride go faster than chuckling at graphic representations of pet crime stories (see the depiction above of dog maul-case lawyer Nedra Ruiz, as drawn by MariNaomi. Holy crap, that's funny).

Pet Noir, Shannon O'Leary, comix

All Haggard, all the time

The Rocky Mountain News has a couple of interesting pieces on l'affaire Haggard today:

• In a press conference following Sunday's sermon, the "overseers" charged with investigating Ted Haggard's errors said they would be inspecting his computer hard drive and his finances and will require the disgraced preacher "to take polygraphs and undergo psychological evaluations." They also said they believe "he is still being deceptive about the extent of his sexual activity."
• The RMN also asked local gay pastors to comment on the events.

In the Denver Post, Mike Jones called Haggard's apology "hollow":

Jones said he had sex monthly with Haggard for three years, ending in August. From those sexual encounters, Jones said he believes Haggard is a homosexual, despite having a wife and five children.

"Ted, you need to be honest with yourself," Jones said over the air. "If you're a gay man, you're a gay man."

Somehow I don't think that's the direction the Team Haggard is going.

Update no. 1: On Huffington Post, Harry Shearer: "Of all the people who sprang October surprises, I trust Mike Jones. The former gay hooker, unlike the Iraqi "court" and other late newsmakers, had the balls to say upfront that he was timing his allegations about Ted Haggard's sex life in the hope of affecting the election. Even before Haggard acknowledged the truth of the matter, Jones--who had lie-detector problems--passed the ultimate lie detector: he was telling an obvious truth: he wanted to sway the vote."

And Arianna herself: "Mark Foley and Ted Haggard are textbook examples of how the relentless denial of reality perverts judgment and rots the soul."

Update no. 2: Michelangelo Signorile interviews Mike Jones:

MS: Was he a top or bottom? What was he interested in?

MJ: When I was on the radio show in Denver, the question was asked: Did you practice safe sex? I said, 'We used a condom once." The talk show host goes, "You mean he wore the condom once?" I said, "Uh, no, I did."

MS: What about with oral sex. Was he the passive partner or the active partner?

MJ: You know, it kind of went back and forth --- and I can't say he was very good at it.

Oh, snap! Does this ever stop getting better and better!!?!

Update no. 3 Newsweek also has an interview with Jones, somewhat less colorful.

Ted Haggard, Mike Jones, Larry Stockstill, gay clergy

Dobson inadvertantly confirms some Haggard details

The pope (as it were) of right-wing Christians in Colorado Springs, Focus On The Family head James Dobson, tackled brother Ted Haggard's mess today on his organization's daily broadcast, and along the way confirmed something about Mike Jones' story for the first time.

Up to now, Jones -- the Denver male prostitute whom Haggard called "my accuser" has said that he had a three-year sex-for-pay relationship with Haggard. Haggard denied that early on, and when he subsequently dribbed out various confessions and admissions, it became unclear just what he was confessing to. As Haggard said in his letter to his former church, "The accusations that have been leveled against me are not all true, but enough of them are true that I have been appropriately and lovingly removed from ministry."

Until this morning, no one had said anything about which of the allegations the "board of overseers," appointed by Haggard's church to look into the matter, had confirmed. But this morning Dobson blurted out that Haggard's "sins" had stretched out over "several years." I take that to be a confirmation that either Haggard's visits to Jones had indeed taken place over the three years claimed by Jones, and/or that Haggard had had other same-sex encounters over "several years." We're clear on that now.

Another interesting note was struck by one of Dobson's radio guests, a preacher named Ravi Zacharias, who said twice that problems of "sexual sin" like Haggard's often "begin in the home" and are the result of marital problems and "often a loss of sexual intimacy." (Racy talk for the Christianists!) So all this foofah about how great Haggard's wife is, and how none of this could possibly be her fault -- the implication is that things weren't all that great between them.

Of course, none of this matters, who cares about these people's problems -- EXCEPT for two things. One, these people put themselves on a pedestal as wonderful examples of everything that's good and Christian, and they influence many thousands of people, so it matters when they say one thing and do another; it speaks directly to their credibility. Not only that, but Haggard took part in the weekly teleconference between evangelical leaders and Karl Rove's staff -- he can hardly claim not to have been in a position of power and influence. And two, these were the very people who jumped all over Clinton for his little sexual indiscretion, and you can bet they made hay over that FOR YEARS. So excuse me for talking about this twerp Haggard for a few days.

Finally, there is clearly one aspect of this whole thing the Christian conservatives have decided not to talk about at all: the drug problem. Not a single word on Dobson's broadcast, and not a single word yesterday at Haggard's former church. Isn't that interesting?

Ted Haggard, James Dobson, Ravi Zacharias, rightwingchristians

Psychopath of the week: Utah's 'public enemy no. 1'

That's Mr. Curtis Allgier -- he was arrested Sunday in Salt Lake City. A convicted burglar and forger, he was wanted on parole violations.

But clearly, they just want him behind bars because people in Utah couldn't stand to have someone who looks like that on the streets.

The devil and Mike Jones

Here's Ted Haggard's letter to his former congregation as printed in the Colorado Springs Gazette. He calls his same-sex desires (if that is what is is referring to) "dark... repulsive... dirt" and offers a curious report on the efficacy of the homophobic, right-wing Christian approach to homosexuality:

Through the years, I've sought assistance in a variety of ways, with none of them proving to be effective in me. Then, because of pride, I began deceiving those I love the most because I didn't want to hurt or disappoint them.

The public person I was wasn't a lie; it was just incomplete. When I stopped communicating about my problems, the darkness increased and finally dominated me. As a result, I did things that were contrary to everything I believe.

So you're saying... that whole approach didn't work out too well, did it? Every consider just facing up to the fact that you're queer and you like taking drugs?

I would love to hear what 12-step people have to say about this.

He does manage to be a man when it comes to Mike Jones, whom he calls "my accuser":

He is revealing the deception and sensuality that was in my life. Those sins, and others, need to be dealt with harshly. So, forgive him and, actually, thank God for him. I am trusting that his action will make me, my wife and family, and ultimately all of you, stronger. He didn't violate you; I did.

The only problem with this is that the word "devil" itself is from the Greek word for "accuser," diabolos. So it could be said that Haggard's statement, while sounding magnanimous, is the epitome of damning with faint praise.

In this accompanying story about the scene at Haggard's church this morning is a more postive note: According to one of the investigating "overseers," a Rev. Larry Stockstill (!), "God chose to reveal pastor Ted's sin."

Okay -- God... the devil... Which is it?

It's a political ploy by Satan himself and his minions to try and take the focus off the real issues of the election.

So... sounds like the jury's still out on that.

Update 1: A Salon.com article on the scene at New Life Church this morning says that suddenly everything about the place "seems so gay."

Update 2: The New York Times also reports on this morning's service: "It was not until a letter was read from Mr. Haggard's wife, Gayle, that the tissue boxes were really needed." Doesn't that sound special.

Update 3: If you have the patience, here is a very long streaming video -- about 30 minutes -- of the entire address to the New Life church by "overseer" Stockstill. Link courtesy JoshMShep (evidently a New Life member).

Earlier:

Colorado Springs Gazette:

They were working late Saturday night at New Life Church. They squeezed extra chairs into every corner of the megachurch's massive auditorium. They placed extra boxes of tissue in every aisle.

Wonder what else they were up to? Writing press releases, probably, and trying to figure how new ways to explain concepts like "hypocrisy" and "pharisee."

Statements of apology (from the disgraced clergyman) and "encouragement" (from his wife [!!]) will be read during the service, which will probably be spoken of as a time of healing. I think it would probably be more effective if they didn't skip the moourning, bargaining and enraged anger steps.

All that remains now is the announcement that Haggard has decided to go into rehab for his drug problem. He might meet Mark Foley -- he's supposed to be in there for another couple days. They would have a lot to talk about.

New Life Church, Ted Haggard, hypocrites

Happy birthday, Cris!

Happy birthday to my beloved one. She had a bar exam this morning -- some birthday present!

Haggard fired

BREAKING:

Citing his admissions of "sexually immoral conduct," New Life Church founder and former head of the Nat'l Assoc. of Evangelicals has been fired by the board of New Life Church -- press release, courtesy Non-Prophet. Here's the local paper on the firing.

This photo shows Haggard's impromptu press conference yesterday as he left his house. He admitted buying methamphetamine in front of his wife and kids -- see 'em? The CNN site has the video.

The weird smile never left his face.

Should be an interesting time at New Life's services tomorrow, when notes from Haggard as well as "a note of encouragement" from his wife will be read. Don't miss this article in the Denver Post -- a reporter was present as remaining New Life ministers and staff planned tomorrow's services.

Update: Also in the Denver Post: Bush campaigned in Colorado today, speaking from "Mile High Coffee" -- who needs meth when you have some of that shit? -- but left it to Cheney to campaign in Colorado Springs, home of Haggard and New Life Church. Can't find anything that says Cheney was asked about Haggard or commented on the scandal, but really -- could people in that two-industry town (God and the Air Force Academy) be talking about anything else?

Ted Haggard, New Life Church, Non-Prophet

There's got to be a morning after

Lacking any new bombshells today in l'affaire Haggard, I am wiping the come off my keyboard after my orgy of posting over the last two days. Only thing I have new is this post by Slactivist, the widely-read moderate Christian blogger whose main claim to fame is taking apart the ridiculous Left Behind page by page. Slactivist has both a .gif of Mike Jones' newspaper "massage" advertisement and a good point to make about Haggard's future: the "repentence" that Haggard will be called on to show simply means "he will go back to living a lie" as a closeted gay man.

I think there is an alternative explanation to the very fine mess Haggard finds himself in: and that is, that he is a bisexual who mostly has relationships with women, but when he does meth, he likes to get really down and dirty, and he can't do meth and get down and dirty with his wife (link to an article by her about being "a pastor's wife" courtesy Wonkette).

So seeing Mike Jones does two things for him -- he gets the drugs, and he gets to have nasty sex. This is known on Craigslist as "Party and Play" -- take drugs and get down. The drugs lower your inhibitions and let you do what you really want to do. My theory is not that Haggard is a closeted Kinsey 6 but a guy who likes to do drugs and have sex, and the most convenient person to do both with is a nice male prostitute. But in any case, he certainly has some 'splainin to do.

Oh, there is one more thing: a website called PageOneQ found Mike Jones' web page, complete with pix (sfw) and rates.

Ted Haggard, meth, bisexuals, party and play, Craigslist

Haggard's fall 'doesn't surprise' counselor

It took seven, count 'em, seven reporters of the Colorado Springs Gazette to report the Ted Haggard story today, and it's all wrapped up -- for the day, at least -- in this update, headlined Community stunned as Haggard admits buying drugs.

Some of the interesting details:

A clergyman who heads a pastoral counseling center for the Religious Right pressure group Focus on the Family, also located in Colorado Springs, said he wasn't surprised at the accusations "because I deal with it so much." Between four hundred and six hundred evangelical pastors call his service every month to deal with their problems -- "many of whom are struggling with addiction or sexual issues."

At a staff meeting of Haggard's New Life Church today:

More than 200 church staff members attended a meeting this afternoon to discuss the Haggard situation, said Joe Kirkendall, associated pastor for the church's college ministry. The gist of the discussion, Kirkendall said, was "Let's be a team. Let's be a family. We are charting unchartered waters. This isn't a time to hide, it's a time to serve."

The wife of Ross Parsley, the assistant pastor who took over the church after Haggard was suspended, gave birth today. No pressure, Ross!

Long ago, Haggard 'staked out gay bars'

A friend tipped me off to this little-noticed line in the April 2005 Harpers magazine story on New Life Church and Ted Haggard -- the first half of which the author, Jeff Sharlett, reprinted in his blog today:

At the time, Colorado Springs was a small city split between the Air Force and the New Age, and the latter, Pastor Ted believed, worked for the devil. Pastor Ted soon began upsetting the devil’s plans. He staked out gay bars, inviting men to come to his church; his whole congregation pitched itself into invisible battles with demonic forces, sometimes in front of public buildings.

Emphasis mine. How clear things seem in the light of day.

Updates:

• MSNBC profile of Haggard as a "maverick"
• CNN quotes Haggard: "I called him to buy some meth, but I threw it away. I was buying it for me, but I never used it. I was tempted, I bought it, but I never used it. He told me about it. I went there for a massage."(Thanks, Guru of Nothingness)
• Colorado Confidential published a nice summary of Thursday's statements and events
• Interesting Salon article on Colorado Republican politics, especially with respect to gay issues.
• This screenshot from Google News is interesting: three big foreign papers are playing the scandal for its connection to politics:
  
  

Ted Haggard, gay bars, Jeff Sharlett, New Life Church, Colorado Springs

Smoking gun in Haggard scandal: always save the stained blue dress

BREAKING:

Courtesy BoingBoing, news that the voice messages saved by the male prostitute are from Pastor Ted Haggard.

Perhaps better now to say: former Pastor Ted Haggard. Here's a valedictory profile on the Rocky Mountain News website.

Update 1: Haggard now admits buying meth from Jones.

I guess that would explain the text of the phone messages:

"Hi Mike, this is Art. Hey, I was just calling to see if we could get any more. Either $100 or $200 supply. And I could pick it up really anytime. I could get it tomorrow...

The story from the Colorado Spring Gazette quotes Haggard as saying:

"I bought it for myself but never used it," he said. "I was tempted but I never used it."

Now that's just sad.

Update 2: Haggard admits receiving "massage" from male prostitute.

Ted Haggard, voice mails, voice messages, New Life Church

Haggard 'admits some indiscretions' as accuser fails polygraph

BREAKING:

An assistant to former leading evangelical leader Ted Haggard "stated in an e-mail to parishoners late Thursday night that Haggard confessed to some indiscretions alleged by a homosexual prostitute."

Non-Prophet has the email sent by Pr. Ross Parsley to the members of Haggard's New Life Church. Non-Prophet has been a burr in the side of Haggard and New Life for a long time, so of course they're the ones to have the email.

Meanwhile, the male prostitute who outed Haggard as a methamphetamine-gulping big gay failed a lie detector test administered today.

Updates will follow throughout the day. So best!!!!111!

Evangelical-friendly Christians comment in their blogs on the Haggard scandal:

• "I do so hope that the "evangelical community" does not react in the way the so mercilessly tend to do in similar scenarios. Hopefully Mr. Haggard will not be laughed at, discredited, slandered, or kicked to the curb as if he were a filthy leper..."


• Christianity today: In his sermon last Sunday, Haggard prayed: "Father, we pray that lies would be exposed. We pray that deception would be exposed."


• Bill Kinnon: Haggard's fall has something to do with the lack of accountability typical of "the infallible-senior-pastor-model" associated with megachurches.


• The Revealer: Jeff Sharlett, author of the 2005 Harper's Magazine article about New Life Church, says Haggard "is a victim of the very closet over which he publicly stands guard, as are all the New Life church members he's led into it."

News updates:

• Time magazine: 'Mega-Scandal for a megachurch'

Ted Haggard, New Life Church, male prostitute

It's Bad Behavior Friday™ -- Deep Sixed edition

'Major scientific study': Most sea life will be gone in 42 years.

Meanwhile, Whole Foods has just resumed selling "Chilean Sea Bass". Could there be a connection? Wouldn't it be ironic if yuppies were the cause of the collapse of the global economy and tens of millions of deaths? (Of course, after that happens: all the more for us!)

In a case that slams the door on one of the more arrogant zillionaires from the millennium, former Computer Associates head Sanjay Kumar has been sentences to 12 years in prison for orchestrating a huge accounting fraud. Kumar's attorney has requested the former bigwig do his time at Fairton Prison in New Jersey where, according to this page, the inmates manufacture "electronic connectors."

I always wanted to know where the tubes that make up the internet come from -- now I know.

This article has more on the Fairton prison, where:

... inmates are expected to work jobs ranging from cleaning floors to doing plumbing work, said Thomas Jones, public information officer for the prison. Wages, he said, start at 12 cents an hour and can be used to purchase goodies from the commissary.

Now let's check in with rabble-rousing columnist Stanley Crouch, who says Barack Obama "isn't black" enough, according to Crouch, who cites Obama's parentage of a white mother and a Kenyan father: "Other than color, Obama ... does not share a heritage with the majority of black Americans, who are descendants of plantation slaves.... So when black Americans refer to Obama as 'one of us,' I do not know what they are talking about."

Oh, great. We're going to have a fight over whether Barack Obama is black enough. The way some gay people do not consider bisexuals queer enough, or some fundamentalists consider mainstream Protestants Christian enough. As someone once said, can't we all just get along?

More superhero-ing

Is this a meme or what. Everyone has the same idea at the same time.

A theater group called mugwumpin with a show called super:anti:reluctant, about superheroes hanging out between gigs. Looks fun!

Heavy sigh.

Ha ha, Minnesotans are funny

Click on the pic for evidence that being "stuck n Irak" hasn't spoiled the Minnesota Nat'l Guard's sense of humor.

Blogs on Haggard allegations

Best posting title evar:

omg rev. ted haggard eets teh meatpole LOL!!!!!11one

That posting contains a link to a well-produced documentary video (8 min 45 sec.) posted on YouTube of New Life and Haggard.

More video: Watch the local TV news interview with Haggard (on that page, click on "Watch the exclusive interview with Ted Haggard") in which he sounds way too cheerful about the whole thing, as if he were talking about an exciting upcoming Sunday School picnic. Best line: On the man who made the allegations: "What'd you say his name was?"