Cornucopia of names

This day, I give thanks for the weird never-exhausted cornucopia of names received as the "senders" of spam e-mail -- names worthy of "Brave New World" and the work of Thomas Pynchon. Let us imagine the faces and stories behind these names. Say them out loud, roll them in your mouth. Let us welcome:

Mireio Mckibben -- gifted child of writer Bill
Erzsi Abeyta -- Kenyan cultural attache
Leticia Kirby -- rejected name for character of receptionist in "The Office"
Imogene Solar -- aspiring Mexican poet
Daren Darnell -- game show contestant
Mohammed Kopp -- bureaucrat at the Department of Public Works
Biff Kealoha -- restaurateur
Kelvin Hirsch -- science teacher
Imhotep Emond -- FedEx driver
Fauna Maestas -- your housekeeper who is also a Santeria priestess
Ceallach Wagar -- undocumented carpenter
Tommie Terry -- BBC entertainment "presenter"
Israel Bailey -- reggae impresario
Morgaine Schleifer -- that girl in Human Resources who wears those long hippie skirts and plays in a Celtic band on Thursday nights
Basil Spicer -- failed Birmingham football striker
Noah Pugh -- plumber
Tasha Woody -- sharp-tongued receptionist at a non-profit, wears an Afro
Basil Burt -- unexpectedly rich neighbor
Akilina Segovia -- your Russian mail-order bride's cousin who used to be a scientist in the Ukraine and is now a prostitute on Long Island
Gladys Looney -- retired accounting assistant, she still comes back for annual company Xmas party every year
Terrell Hare -- former British sharpshooter, now a "security consultant"
Eustace Sanders -- Chair of English Dept. at a community college
Sterling Cooley -- cheats at golf
Fran Luna -- that girl you slept with a few times in 1989; she was really loud
Bienvenida Brenes -- works at the bakery, wants to own her own business
Haywood Pilkington -- Sterling Cooley's long-suffering golf partner; knows Sterling cheats, would never mention it
Raymundo Meadows -- bass player in a Christian rock band
Shuck I. Clingman -- inventor of obscure piece of broadband networking hardware, was cheated out of patent rights and is suing
Amparo Latham -- MFA in Create Writing, NYU, 2004
Ottilia R. Bunch -- order-taker at office supplies company
Conor Swicegood -- failed thriller writer