'What happens in Ms. Buford's class stays in Ms. Buford's class'

A Chicago, Ill. student and her grandparents are suing the school district for half a million dollars [second story in column] after a substitute teacher -- who made the students shut the door to the room and warned them, "What happens in Ms. Buford's class stays in Ms. Buford's class" -- showed an 8th grade class the film "Brokeback Mountain."

According to the story, the 12-year-old girl's grandfather said "I had already given them (a warning) on the literature they were giving out to children to read; this was the last straw." The literature, not named, had "curse words."

Imagine this poor man's life. He, and perhaps his wife, are raising this 12-year-old girl; wherever her parents are, the story doesn't say. And like many parents they feel assailed by the vulgarity of modern American culture; that they are grandparents means they are even more out of it than most parents. The more this girl grows up, the more threatened they are, on her behalf, by everything that American materialist culture is telling 12-year-olds.

Then one day -- perhaps a year earlier, when she was 11 -- the girl brings home a Judy Blume book she's reading for class, and Grandpa discovers it contains the work "fuck." His mind exploding at the idea that his precious granddaughter, whom he is trying to protect from the world so that what happened to her mother won't happen to her, has to deal with the word "fuck" even in books, much less the movies he won't let her watch, threatens the school with a lawsuit, and the school backs down. But a year later a substitute teacher sneaks in a showing of "Brokeback Mountain." Ho - mo -sek -shuls in the classroom!! Who could stomach it???!?

Now look at the world from the 12-year-old girl's perspective. Every chance she gets, she watches MTV at friends' houses. She leaves the house early every day so she can stop by a friend's house and change out of the stupid clothes Grandpa makes her wear into something she wouldn't be embarrassed by. Meanwhile every male she encounters outside the home makes sexual remarks to her; in every advertisement, women dress like prostitutes. She has enough trouble trying to make her way through this minefield every day, so when they show a romantic movie in English class, at least that gives her a chance to nap for a couple of hours. She probably sleeps through the homo scenes. But later, in an argument with Grandpa over whether she can stay out after her 6:00 pm curfew, she hurls at him: "I know about sex! They showed 'Brokeback Mountain' at school last week. You don't know anything, old man!" Grandpa's head explodes again.

Meanwhile, Ms. Buford is missing. Where do you think she is about now -- Cancun, or maybe she got a job waitressing on a cruise ship. Anywhere but Chicago.