Information superhighway robbery no. 1

I had a pager for several years, one of those little belt pagers with a one-line screen. Finally I lost it, and since I had started using my cell phone more often, I just decided to forget about it. Finally today I got another bill for the service and that reminded me to cancel my account.

The original company was Pacific Bell's Air Touch, but they sold their pager business along the way and Verizon now owned my account. So after going through a really long series of voice mail menus, I finally reached a human being.

Me: I'd like to cancel my account.

Service guy (reading a script): What is the reason for cancelling your account?

Me: I lost my pager and decided I didn't want to get a new one.

Service guy (still reading): Well, Mr. Pritchard, we at Verizon hate to lose your business. Would you like to continue your account at a vastly reduced rate?

Long pause. I thought, what the fuck, if a vastly reduced rate was available, why haven't you told me about it already?!

Me: No.