Pleasant dreams

I awakened this morning with an optomistic attitude about finishing my current chapter and the book itself. I had peaceful dreams both during the night and during a nap I took from 8:00 to 9:30, after falling asleep in the bed while reading the morning paper with Cris. The dream during the nap involved being on the edge of a cliff over a dark ocean, but no fear whatsoever; I felt complete confidence that I could, and just might, float down to the water or to a ledge just above the water. It was nearly a flying dream, for me. I don’t have flying dreams where I’m flying like a bird; mine involve taking fifty-yard strides, or being able to fly at only 5 feet above the ground, or being able only to float down from a great height rather than falling uncontrollably fast. But even though it might seem as if there’s a lack of exaltation in these dreams, they’re always pleasurable and leave me with a feeling of blissful contentment.

Cris and I spent much of the morning hassling with a credit card bill. I sent them what we had left from my severance check. Turned out the bill was largely for the computer system and office furniture we bought in September right before I got laid off.

Cris happened to talk to Carl, whose house we visited ten days ago. He heard of a pubs manager job for me at a software company in Richmond, an industrial city north of Berkeley. Not such a great location, but I will need to get another job eventually, and, as Cris said, the way things work these days it will probably be until February before I would actually start. She also reminded me there was only a small chance I would actually get the job. I have ambivalent feelings. In a way it would be nice to be wanted, and it would be nice to make money. But part of me is almost annoyed; I didn’t want to start thinking yet about finding a new job, and I’d been half-hoping I’d never have to get another software job again.