Various forms of prayer

I’m going to apply for a residency at Headlands Center for the Arts. But the application deadline for 2003 is long past, so any application I make will be for 2004, when I’m bound to have another full time job again. So I’m applying for a “live-out” residency, where you get a studio to work in, but you don’t get a living space.

I went last night to lectio divina -- just me and Michael, as usual, but I think he enjoys it and finds it fulfilling as much as I do -- and after that I went to the zen center for a “practice meeting.” This is an event they used to have to discuss details of practice -- i.e. when and how to do various things, like bowing -- and decided to renew, perhaps to remove discussions of such details from the board meeting. We went through all the details of what people do in the evening. There were a few people I hadn’t seen before, which is comforting in a way, as the total number of people involved on a regular basis seems to be small indeed. I suppose they attend in the evening and never in the morning, as I come in the morning and never in the evening. Y. was a little less passive-aggressive than usual. Not that much, but he didn’t seem as much of a loser as he did the first time I met him, at that dinner several weeks ago. And he seems to want the right thing, which is residents who are really serious about their practice and put it first in their lives. Which would be a contrast to at least three of the four residents that are there now. As for Z., his factotum, she has apparently decided to be very friendly and encouraging to me. She praised me for coming so dependably in the mornings. In fact, I’ve missed at least one day a week for almost all of the last eight weeks or so, since coming back from New York in September.

Last night it rained heavily, cleared up for much of the day, then at 3:00 started again. At 3:30 it was really dark out, I had to turn on the lights in the church office as I wrote.

This morning I drove down to Redwood City and got rid of the scanner that’s been taking up space in the office for years. We got it a long time ago from SFSI -- someone had donated it to them, and we bought it by way of making a donation. Finally I sold it for $15 on eBay to a guy at a little aviation newsletter. He seemed really happy to get it, and I would be too, for $15. I found myself thinking I should have charged more, but then he was the only bidder and getting rid of it was the most important thing. I also sold a few books at a used bookstore and got $13. I celebrated and had a fancy seven dollar hamburger at the new place adjacent to the church, on my way in to write.

I got 1500 words done today, part of a long scene, the “cat disaster” scene I’ve been planning all year to write. I think I need to write more on it, though, so I can’t say the scene is done.