But you've got to admit, they had a hell of a logo

Yesterday on some NPR show -- "Marketplace," or "Fresh Air" -- I heard a story that was, partially at least, about Germany's attempts to redefine its image, and make it seem like more of a cool, happening place. "Unfortunately," said a German marketing consultant who has been hired to take on this task, "we are still suffering from the negative branding we accomplished from the years 1933 to 1945."

Negative branding. Yes, I guess they managed to convince everyone that Germans were rapacious, fanatical, power-mad, and willing to employ any means to the end of world domination. But they had style. Doesn't that count?

Monday's favorite customers at the l.n.c.b.: The late-fiftyish Jewish woman who smacked two books on the counter for return -- "A book about Siberia and a self-help book! Well, I'm not going to Siberia and I don't need any more mental health, no matter what they think!" -- and the young black woman who called asking for a book called Pimpnosis. Actually she didn't know the exact title, only that it started with "pimp" and it was pimp-no-something. I found it on the system and went to the shelves to locate it. Sure enough, there was an expensive hardback with nice arty black-and-white pictures of street prostitutes and mostly-undressed women in bars; the text was a novel about, yes, pimps. From an admiring standpoint. As far as I could tell, the book was less about the women and more about the narcissim of the self-styled pimps, an occupation the book took entirely seriously. It was neither ironic not an exposé.

I went back to the phone and told the girl I couldn't find it on the shelves. "But I need that book so bad!" she cried. "I need to send it to someone in prison in Southern California!" In the background was a crying baby. I'd heard about all I needed to hear. "Sorry, maybe I can look for it later," I said. "Well, can you call me back if you find it?" she insisted. She gave me a phone number and told me her name was Mahogany.

The fact is, prisons won't give hardback books to inmates. The materials can too easily be made into shanks. But that's not the real reason I pretended we didn't have the book. In truth, I was just too disgusted.