Satire, dead or not?

Quite nice flibbit addressed to the driving public. (I just made up the word "flibbit" -- but you know exactly what I mean, right? A satirical piece designed to hold up to gentle ridicule a section of the populace.)

Then there's the woman who gives people casettes entitled "Road Sage." Whenever this woman decides that one of her friends is a bit too angry when driving, she buys this "Road Sage" cassette for them. It's her way of making the roads safer.

Dear friend,

Thank you for picking me up at the airport yesterday. What with the driving rainstorm, all the airport construction, and the trouble with your broker on the phone, I understood what a great favor it was.

With all these distractions, the fender bender we had with that nasty woman in the sports car was certainly understandable. Drivers these days just don't realize that just because we have a big SUV, we can't see everything! If we could, we would be gods and wouldn't need to drive at all. As it is, the height and expanded cargo space of your Ford Monument Pro makes us feel like gods. But gods don't get into fender benders with nasty little red sports cars.

If she had only realized this, she would not have tried to pass you in a lane that had only just that moment become clear. It wasn't your fault that she zipped into it at the same time you changed lanes. I thought your maneuver was very skilled. For a moment there I thought we were going to turn over and over and over and skid on the passenger side down the fast lane of 101 up and through the guardrail and into Richardson Bay. But your driving skill prevented this. Nice bit of driving there!

I did think it was a little bit of an overreaction on your part, once she had pulled off to the shoulder and gotten out of her car, for you to slam the Monument into reverse and roll backwards over her hood and bust her windshield. I could tell from the way you were screaming I'LL SHOW THAT FUCKING BITCH that you were a lot more bothered than you should have been.

So I thought you'd enjoy this tape. I put it on every time something like this happens to me. The soothing shakahachi flute and background tinkle of a rushing brook evoke a pleasant, meditative retreat, and the calming voice of the narrator, former Cleveland Zen Center roshi Dan Omoke, puts positive thoughts into your mind. So driving isn't such a stress event.

With love,

Shakti

Update: After I wrote that, I found out there really is such a thing as a Road Sage cassette. So maybe satire really is dead after all.