No picnic

Despite the fact that the Japanese economy is still in the toilet, young Americans and others are still finding their way there, as they have for the last 40 years or so, to teach English, strip, and perform other tasks only gaijin can do. This fellow is among the latest to discover the frustrating aspects of living in Japan. You know what -- everything he says is true. But he still sounds like a wanker, because there are an equal number of delightful things about the place. Besides, now that he's broken up with his girlfriend (or so he reports), I'll bet one of his female students has been just waiting to shag him.

When I was teaching English in Japan -- and it's been 15 years now -- I had a student who absolutely wanted to jump me. But I was leery of cultural and ethical considerations, and I hesitated. Finally the girl got tired of waiting and wrote me an absolutely classic kissoff note, which I still have. As for other gaijin, most of them tended to fuck each other. But some of the American men were in Japan in the first place because they couuldn't hack social relationships with other Westerners; they found Japanese girlfriends easily. I'm thinking of one guy in particular who joined the staff at our school. He was an utter pill, and balding to boot, but he hadn't been there three weeks before he bagged a gorgeous gym trainer.

So Mr. Evan Vella, stop bitching and start shagging. You'll probably even learn the language along the way.