Tuesday, September 25, 2007

It's Bad Bahavior Tuesday™! -- Fuck a Duck Edition

A 26-year-old Denver man was under arrest on charges of felony animal cruelty after he allegedly walked into the lobby of a Minneapolis hotel, "cornered" one of the ducks that live in the lobby, and ripped its head off. When arrested, he is said to have protested: "What's the big deal? It's just a fucking duck!"

Notorious head case Milton Bradley, who plays baseball with the San Diego Padres, tore his ACL during an argument with an umpire and will miss the rest of the season.

You can't go wrong with the headline LOVESICK TEEN DEATH LEAP. An 18-year-old NYU freshman and heir to a dot-com fortune freaked out after discovering a text message to another lad on the cellphone of his ex-girlfriend, who was visiting him. By leaping to his death from the dorm roof, the kid was simply following an NYU tradition, raising the question just how short a time you actually have to be enrolled at the school before you feel like committing suicide -- he had only been there a month. Or perhaps the school is unwittingly selecting students who are already suicidal when they enroll. Weird! (By the way -- style points subtracted for a suicide note that quoted Kurt Cobain, who killed himself when the kid was like 2 years old. Talk about lame.)

Bonus: Fox News presenter Bill O'Reilly went to a restaurant in Harlem and was surprised 'no one was screaming "M-Fer, I want some more iced tea"' and that "there was no difference between Sylvia's restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it's run by blacks, primarily black patronship." (Courtesy Gawker)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I don't know how I didn't hear about the duck incident before reading this post.