Oh stop it

The lead says it all: "The FBI is warning police nationwide to be alert for people carrying almanacs." Yes, those phone-directory-like accumulations of weather and crop lore.

The FBI said information typically found in almanacs that could be useful for terrorists includes profiles of cities and states and information about waterways, bridges, dams, reservoirs, tunnels, buildings and landmarks. It said this information is often accompanied by photographs and maps.

Oh for godsakes, no it isn't. I've never seen maps and photographs in an almanac, except for a center section of about 12 pages showing maps of the continents. Most of an almanac is just gray page after page of tables and lists. What the fuck is wrong with these geeks at the FBI anyway?

The best is the final sentence of the story, coming immediately after he paragraph quoted above. "The FBI urged police to report such discoveries to the local U.S. Joint Terrorism Task Force." What... what discoveries?

"Hello, FBI? I want to report a discovery!"

"Yes sir! What is it?"

"I've discovered that page 569 of the World Almanac I just bought on checkstand 4 of the supermarket has a list of bridges!"

"Stay right there, sir. We'll be down to confiscate the book immediately. And where is this so-called 'super market'?"