Satire is dead

Sometimes I get in a mood when everything I read in the news sounds like it was lifted from The Onion.

Associated Press, 23 Dec 03: Wife Doesn't Think Much of Toilet Seat as Gift
St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 22 Dec 03: Outpouring Saves Family's Tree
Miami Herald, 23 Dec 03: Ben Affleck Tries to Put the Focus Back on His Work
Fox News, 7 Dec 03: Farm Boy Carries Torch for Parish Hilton
WIlkes-Barre Times Leader, 16 Dec. 03: Man is tired of neighbor sneaking into his yard to care for his dog
Baptist Standard, 19 Dec 03: Abstinence Pledge-Breakers Likely Not to Use Condoms

Then again, you can't make up something like this online forum discussion on the topic "Where's Mark Pritchard?" Apparently an Australian who shares my name has founded some kind of esoteric sect which teaches "astral travel" and "tantrism" among other things. Furthermore he now calls himself Beelzebub or Belzebuub, which should allay any confusion between him and me. I'll have to add this character to the list of "The Mark Pritchards I'm not" on my bio page.