Not an actual story from The Onion

'TURKEY IS NOT A FORM OF PUNISHMENT'

Turkey. It's what's for dinner — today, tomorrow and the day after that. The menu at the El Paso County (Colo.) jail inspired a brief hunger strike Saturday as inmates protested a fifth consecutive dinner made with turkey. The inmates refused to eat, arguing the meals such as turkey chili mac, turkey a la king, turkey stew and turkey sausage were unnecessarily cruel.