Today's story that reads like The Onion but is actually a real story

From the Jackson, Mich. Citizen-Patriot:

A lesson in lingo at area Starbucks

...While some customers know the lingo unique to Starbucks, there are many Jackson-area people who don't.

"And that's OK, because if you say small, medium or large, we know what you mean," she said.

... "I remember the first time I was at a Starbucks and was afraid I would mispronounce the size coffee I wanted," Heynen said. "Was it a 'grand' or a 'grande' (emphasis on the last letter)? I didn't know. So I ordered a tall because I knew that word," she said, laughing.

On this day, as various customers at Jackson Starbucks walked in and out -- others stopping at the drive-through -- David Wilkinson of Benton Harbor, formerly of Jackson, sat at a table and finished sketching a drawing for an upcoming exhibit at Cirrcus, 634 N. Mechanic St.

"Yesterday, I got a mocha Frappuccino at the drive-through window; today, I'm having a venti coffee," he said, having no problem with the lingo.