Republicans bravely take on New York's finest -- cocktail waitresses

Courtesy Wonkette, here's a daily column being written by a cocktail waitress working in a NY strip club near the site of the GOP convention. Priceless moment:

"Listen," he said, his already thick drawl slurred by alcohol. "I like buying beautiful women expensive clothes. I like taking them out to any restaurant in town... I like playing with two girls at once--but that's not a requirement. If I wanted to pay for a girl to spend the night with me, I could."

He wrote his cell phone number on the back of a business card. I saw the name of an energy firm. The man later told someone in the club he was a Washington lobbyist. I wondered if he would try to add a clause allowing "two girls at once" into the Republican Party's plan for a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage.

I watched a little of the McCain and Giuliani speeches tonight. McCain is a terrible speaker! No wonder he never gets anywhere in the primaries. But Giuliani is terrific -- warm and understated, he's a great storyteller. It was like listening to him tell a series of funny stories at a dinner party. Pro-choice, pro-gay... Too bad 99% of the GOP is far to the right of him, because if the rest of the party were more like him, they might really be threatening. But what am I saying? They're threatening the way they are!