Scary straight girls

Galleycat published a bit about a book launch and ran a picture of five, count 'em, five straight-girl chick-lit novelists with fixed teeth and straight hair. The longer you look at that picture, the more it's like one of those logic puzzles:

The only one with a small rack is standing by the one with a headache.

The one with the biggest smile is also left-handed, and she's dressed the sluttiest.

Two of them are wearing green, and one of the green-wearing girls was the featured author.

And so on. Is it possible that they all have naturally straight hair? Ach.

Cheney shooting victim 'sorry for Cheney'

The guy Cheney shot left the hospital today, saying he was "deeply sorry" for all the pain Cheney had been through.

You read that right -- he feels sorry for Cheney!!

Further damaging his chances for a lawsuit against the Vice President, 78-year-old Harry Whittington said, "Accidents do and will happen and that's what happened. ... We all assume certain risks in what we do, in what activities we pursue."

Freakin' dope -- no wonder he got shot.

Whittingon, Cheney shooting

It's Bad Behavior Friday™! ·

You take your laughs where you can find them. Yesterday I hooted at Dear Abby because of the revelation that the Alzheimer's Association has little cards available which read:

The person with me has a disease called Alzheimer's or a related disease. Please be kind and understanding. Thank you.

Naturally I thought how fun it would be to carry those any time you go to dinner with your parents -- whether they have Alzheimer's or not.

And think of the variations. Imagine going on a date and handing your waiter a little card that says "The person I am with is an asshole who I'm going to break up with during dinner. Please serve him the stalest piece of Tiramisu you have. I will make sure you still get a good tip."

Or this: "The person I am dining with ran out on the check the last time we went to a restaurant. Please watch him like a hawk, and if he gets up 'to go to the bathroom,' follow him closely."

But the real joke in that Dear Abby was the person who wrote "I work as a server in an upscale restaurant..." and then signed her letter Nancy in Huntsville, Ala. I wonder what the "upscale restaurant" in Huntsville is like.

In Peshawar -- I'd rather eat at an upscale restaurant there -- a "cleric" issued a fatwa on irreverent Danish cartoonists, promising a $1 million bounty. You know what? I don't think they have a million dollars. And I love this sloppy use of the term "cleric" -- either the reporter can't be bothered to learn the man's title, or he doesn't think Western readers would understand it anyway. So, you know: a loud, bearded guy in a turban.

In Israel, cartoonists have launched a response to the Iranian cartoon response to the Danish cartoons. If you're keeping score at home, an Iranian newspaper two weeks ago decided to have a contest for Holocaust-mocking cartoons, apparently not understanding that Jews are masters at self-mockery.

Amitai Sandy (29), graphic artist and publisher of Dimona Comix Publishing, from Tel-Aviv, Israel, has followed the unfolding of the "Muhammad cartoon-gate" events in amazement, until finally he came up with the right answer to all this insanity -- and so he announced today the launch of a new anti-Semitic cartoons contest -- this time drawn by Jews themselves!

"We'll show the world we can do the best, sharpest, most offensive Jew hating cartoons ever published!" said Sandy. "No Iranian will beat us on our home turf!"

Alzheimer's Disease, cartoons, Israeli cartoon contest, Holocaust cartoons