Saturday, December 23, 2006

A little foamer in the making

One of the constant tricks horror movies use to frighten people is to depict monstrous, maniacal babies or small monsters of some kind. It's one thing when you have a big guy in a hockey mask, it's another when you have some squalling little monster with giant fangs -- somehow the smaller ghoul is even more frightening and disgusting.

In this spirit, let me point you to a litter feller named Billy Valentine and his blog, The Franciscan University of Steubenville Conservative. In it he shills for conservative positions to the right of... well, lately it seems he's been picking on Mitt Romney, the now ex-governor of Massachusetts, for not being sufficiently right-wing. In his long list of truth-benders and sharp spikes for the hapless Romney -- who has as much chance of being the Republicans' nominee as, well, as Harriett Miers did of joining the Supreme Court -- he lists the assertion that Romney is anti-Jesse Helms.

LOL. Why not come right out and say it, Billy Valentine -- it's like the name of a Kurt Vonnegut character -- Romney is also anti-David Duke.

Strangely, in his "profile" Valentine describes himself as a freshman at his august institution, yet the blog has been going since March. Maybe he already flunked freshman year and is repeating it.

Steubenville, by the way, is most famous as being the bare-knuckles birthplace and home town of Dean Martin. Indeed, the main route through town is named Dean Martin Boulevard. I wonder what Valentine's position on Dean Martin is.

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