Maybe they're just avoiding you

Mind-boggling, yet not hurricane aftermath-related: a woman writes 1100 words in the NYT on why black people just don't fit in ... how does she put it? "The hushed precincts of (New York's) best restaurants."

Why, "the reasons are more complex and varied than the salts dusting a crudo plate at Esca." No, this is not supposed to be a satire.

Let's list those reasons, along with a translation of what she really means.

"A younger generation ... is looking for ease and entertainment in eating out rather than a vocabulary test."	I have a very high vocabulary.
"Eating out is a communal enterprise, an exercise in seeing and being seen, and blacks, like any other group, are looking for comfort not just in their food but in the codes of behavior and the people around them."	I am an exhibitionist.*
"'High-end restaurants, and particularly those with a French inflection' are seen as requiring mastery of certain cultural codes."	See, I snuck in the word "master" in an article about race.
"These theories play out in so many foam-flecked meals each day."	I recently went on a cruise ship.
"Places like Nobu and Babbo draw faintly mixed crowds,** and it is not an accident that both are known for their lively atmosphere."	Nobu Babbo yabbo! yabba dabba doooo!
"If a place like Spice Market is about a modern, stylish, really top-quality but sexy chef who's going to mix things up and not follow any traditions in the kitchen but come off as fabulous, that's likely to be reflected up front."	Actually, this is not about dining at all. I am reviewing a new show on the Bravo channel.
"All without 18 pieces of silverware."	I love stealing silverware.
"Indeed, such formality always seemed a rite of passage -- or something to aim for -- among generations of whites of certain means, an aspiration largely absent from the black experience, even among those just as well off."	I am richer than your wildest dreams.
"And then there is the food itself. All those lobsters in pumpkin-seed-fenugreek broth, for example, have not drawn a strong black following."	I've always wanted to go to that Ferengui bistro on Deep Space Nine.
"I will continue wandering in search of transcendent food, while surreptitiously scanning the tables for other blacks with palates like mine."	I have always wanted to be a dentist.

I guess the notion that mostly white people are the only ones stupid enough to go to effete, overpriced diners that are "about a sexy chef" blah blah blah never entered the author's head.

* Since blacks account for only 9% of the population (though they are 22.7% of the population of New York City) it's a wonder they go out at all.

** I can't figure out what "faintly mixed" means. If it means that the ratio of non-white to whites in these establishments is very slightly higher than in the city as a whole, then using the 2000 census as a baseline, that would mean there are already fewer than 40% whites in the restaurant to begin with. And yet the author's whole thesis is that non-whites hardly ever eat at fancy joints, so God knows what this means.