No, it's not a headline from The Onion: Residents told to be ready 'for anything'
You know, this is pretty much "Dog bites man": Rep. Kennedy, drunk, crashes car near Capitol. That would be Rep. Patrick Kennedy, D-R.I., son of the most famous Democratic car-crasher in history, Sen. Teddy Kennedy. When he staggered out of the car he blurted something about being "late for a floor vote." Only problem? It was 2:30 a.m.!
How the mighty have fallen: Kenneth Starr, the former Whitewater special prosecutor who failed to hound Bill Clinton from office, will represent an Alaskan school board in a free-speech case about a high school student who displayed a banner at a football game reading "BONG HITS 4 JESUS." There's little hope Starr will stay in the 49th state, though; he is the dean of Pepperdine Law School, located in Malibu.
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