Adventures in Homeland Security: Farts on a plane

Here, in its entirety, is a story about a lady who got kicked off a plane:

Plane Lands After Matches Used to Hide Odor

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Published: December 6, 2006

An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing on Monday morning after a passenger lighted a match to disguise the scent of flatulence, the authorities said.

The Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after several passengers reported smelling burning sulfur from the matches, said Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority. All 99 passengers and 5 crew members were taken off and screened while the plane was searched and luggage was screened.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation questioned a passenger who admitted that she struck the matches in an effort to conceal a "body odor," Ms. Lowrance said. The passenger had an unspecified medical condition, the authorities said.

The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane. The woman, who was not identified, was not charged in the incident.

Sigh. Stuck inside of Nashville with the evil farts again.