Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Stolpa award winners of the month

Okay, so your country has been at war for more than a year. The most powerfully armed nation in the world is constantly on the lookout for "insurgents" and "terrorists." So even if it is considered a tradition -- and let's face it, how long-standing a tradition could it possibly be, given that the rifle was only invented 150 years ago -- wouldn't you think twice about firing hundreds of rounds into the air to celebrate your wedding?

The Stolpa Award is awarded to anyone who manages to do something so stupid as to not only endanger himself but his whole family. It is named after the man who, ignoring all signs and weather reports, decided to take a shortcut on a snowy mountain road with his wife and baby, only to get stuck in the middle of nowhere in a blizzard. He managed to claw his way out to get help, and the story was turned into a TV movie. The guy was acclaimed a hero when in fact he was, let's face it, a fucking idiot. The phrase "too stupid to live" definitely applies, but you only get the Stolpa Award for endangering your whole family in the process.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Appropriate award. You should include "gains pop culture status by". The sad part is that by some long distance quirk of genetics we share the same last name, although I seem to be able to read signs and understand weather reports. Must have inherited that from Mother.