Why they don't send gay astronauts into space

Life abord the International Space Station is OK as long as there is a program of "rigorous work," said returning astronaut Michael Foale today. His fellow hampster, Russian cosmonaut Alexander Kaleri, agreed: ''If there is work, it's possible to fly as long as necessary,'' Kaleri said. ''If there is no work, there is no worse punishment.''

They must specially select workaholics for the astronaut corps. I can think of a few non-work-related hijinks appropriate for a zero-gravity environment. All consensual, of course.

I proposed this notion to Cris, and we discussed what might happen if, say, the Russian guy were gay and the American guy were not. "Oh, the American guy would go for it," she said. "Any port in a storm." Yeah, but he'd only fuck the Russian guy, not the other way around.

"But aren't there cameras constantly monitoring them?" Cris asked.

"Yeah, but what are they gonna do? 'Ground control to Major Tom -- stop that right now!'   'Sorry, Houston, can't hear you -- and Gennady's got his mouth full.'"