BREAKING: famous author not a fan

I posted in January about how Alexis had mentioned in her blog that the author Chuck Palahniuk, in a visit to her fair city, had mentioned my name in response to a question by an audience member at a reading as to what other authors he liked. Naturally when I read that I felt very excited and flattered. And I would have loved to turn the famous author's putative admiration into, perhaps, a little help getting an agent, but I had no idea how to approach him. I tried to imagine writing him and saying, "Hey, I heard you like my books," but that just seemed really lame.

Then I heard he was coming to town, so I went to his reading tonight. It was a real mob scene. I got there 45 minutes early and there were already over 100 people there and he was already furiously signing books. It was clear there was no way I would even be able to get close to him. I would just have to wait until someone asked the same question: "What authors do you like?"

After reading from his book and telling a few funny stories, Palahniuk took questions, and sure enough, someone asked that question. He mentioned Amy Hemphill, a few more people, and then said: "Mark Richard. That's spelled like 'Richard' only it's pronounced 'Ri-SHARD.'"

So it wasn't me whom Palahniuk praised, but another writer with a similar name. Frankly, my reaction was relief. I'm not sure why -- I guess I was still afraid of having to act like a dork and ask him who his agent is. I stood there smiling while he finished taking questions and then resumed signing books. Another line immediately formed; by this time there were at least 350 people in the store, and there was no way I was going to wait in line just to say hello.

So my instincts were right: When in doubt, just shut up. But for future reference, just in case any other folks who read this blog also attend a Chuck Palahniuk reading: my name is pronounced PRIT-cherd. Not Pri-SHARD.

Update: For more details on the reading, see this blog. Though it actually documents the reading the night before at a different location, everything he describes also took place at the SF reading.

Chuck Palahniuk, Mark Richard, Alexisthegirl, Haunted