Slime

Once in a while, everyone feels the need to get down and dirty -- to revel in the kind of amoral depravity and guilty thrill-seeking that could get you thrown out of the house, turned down for a job at the local schoolhouse, or made the subject of one of those curious-news stories that play out on the web. We just have that urge some times, an urge that demands satisfaction.

But you're know it's perverted, right? Andrea Nemerson, for one, suggests that "only a total freako would enjoy such (things), and hey, it's kind of hot to be a total freako."

All right, here's your chance. A true flamer writes of "The Ten Things I'd Do As President" -- read it and weep. I guarantee that after reading this essay, you will want to take a shower and then play some music extremely loud, the better to forget all about it.