'Very painful. Very painful. Very Painful.'

In a story that begs to have quotation marks put around nearly every word, the AP reported that Paris Hilton Plans to Give Up Public Life. Just what in the world could that mean, exactly? What is she without constant exposure to the public? "A businesswoman and a brand," she asserts. But a brand is the epitome of something public, only it's trademarked. I guess she's saying she will start licensing her name to various manufactured goods and stop "going out." She says:

It's such a pain. It's everyone saying, "Let's do a deal! Can I have a picture?" I'm just, like, "These people are such losers. I can't believe I used to love doing this."

Yeah, but it was the only way you "become a brand."

Paris Hilton