Bad bahavior time

All right, I missed the usual Bad Behavior Friday™! feature. Because I was busy. But here's a little fun, just in time for the weekend.

Right-wing homophobe Mel Gibson was nabbed for DUI in the wee hours of Friday morning, going 80 mph on the PCH. His blood-alcohol level was measured at 0.12% -- 50% higher than the 0.08% threshold for DUI in California. Let's see what we have for our contestant, Bob -- 3-5 years' probation, a mandatory 48 hours in jail (which means he's defending himself from other drunken shits as we speak), and 6 months' license suspension, among other things. Couldn't happen to a bigger asshole.

Well, I can think of some bigger assholes it could happen to, actually. But as the old joke goes, what do you call a hundred right-wing homophobes in jail? A start.

In Maryland, a judge retired rather than face discipline for misconduct. Prince George County Judge Richard A. Palumbo dismissed a restraining order against a man who promptly went out and attacked his estranged wife, prohibited a non-English-speaking woman from having an interpreter in court, and said there were so many women coming to him seeking protective orders in domenstic abuse situations that they were like "buses that come every 10 minutes."

And in New York, an immigrant from Haiti was facing murder charges after a "voodoo spell" meant to attract an ex-lover failed to work, and he snapped and killed the woman's mother -- and her little dog, too. He then called his ex-lover on the slain woman's cell phone and taunted her, "Your mother's dead. I killed her. Who has the last laugh now?"

Sometimes I feel like that little dog.

On a lighter note: The producer of Lindsay Lohan's current movie has accused her of lying about her reasons for coming late to the set, saying it was really heavy late-night carousing, not "heat exhuastion," that made her feel like shit.

Finally, let's go to Texas, where Bush successor Rick Perry's re-election campaign has an acronym for people who send in small checks: ASS. That means "A Small Supporter," probably a familiar phrase to Perry's friends who have helped him shop for sporting goods. They have to ask for it because he's embarrassed to. (The "small supporters" were actually pissed-off Texans who sent in checks in tiny amounts as a protest against the governor's tax policies, the article explains.)