Bang bang, John Paul's silver hammer made sure he was dead

I spotted this bizarre detail in a wire story on how to tell if a pope has died:

The camerlengo, now Cardinal Eduardo Martinez Somalo of Spain, must then verify the death -- a process which in the past was done by striking the forehead of the pope with a silver hammer.

At the other end of a certain spectrum, but on the other hand not very far away at all, Jerry Falwell was well enough to sit up and "chat with the White House."

Perhaps the conversation went something like this:

Bush: Reverend Jerry Doctor Falwell! Good to know you're back in the pink.

Falwell: I'm no doctor, Mr. President, but I have a few right here if you need one.

Bush: Oh no. Oh no, I'm doing fine, doing fine. Say, I want you to know you're in Laura's and my's prayers.

Falwell: Well, thank you for that, Mr. President. But the one who really needs your prayers is Terry Schaivo.

Bush: Er, I hate to be the one to break it to you, Rev, but our little trouper passed away yesterday, while you yourself was battling the angel of death.

Falwell: Well, we had a good long run with her.

Bush: We sure did. Brother DeLay's been beating the drum so loud on this issue that everybody has forgotten about his ethics problems. And that intelligence report that came out yesterday? Nobody's paying attention.

Falwell: That's fine, that's fine. Now I wonder if you would do one more thing for me, Mr. President.

Bush: Anything, Rev. I owe it to you.

Falwell: Yessir, you do. Now, I want you to do something for the poor.

Bush: What was that? Something for the war?

Falwell: No, the poor. The needy, Mr. President.

Bush: Oh, them. Yes. What is it, Rev?

Falwell: You know, there are more and more places banning smoking. Bars, Restaurants, baseball parks -- hardly a place a man can go to light up anymore.

Bush: That's true. Hey, did you hear about Gov. Schwartzenegger's smoking tent? He set it up on the grounds --

Falwell: I know, Mr. President. You know, a large majority of the smokers in the world are poor people. And these smoking bans are tough on them. But look at China's economic growth -- smoking everywhere.

Bush: I'm not sure I follow you, Rev.

Falwell: Just this: End smoking bans, and the economy of this country will take off like a rocket.

Bush: My god.

Falwell: Now that Wolfowitz is president of the World Bank, I'm sure he'll back that up. It's -- what was that phrase? -- a slam dunk.

Bush: It's like Jesse Helms and Strom Thurmond never died.

Falwell: I think Jesse's still with us, sir. I'll poke him next time I see him to make sure.

Bush: Well, you get well too, Reverend Falwell. I'll get right on that smoking thing.

Falwell: God bless you, Mr. President. I'll ask him next time I talk to him. Which happens all the time.